You’re Not Here to Just Hang out… and other reminders for 2017
2017 is here! Everything is different now. My life will be different. All the problems are solved. I assume Donald Trump is no longer President on this side of midnight. I assume my dead friends have resurrected. I assume a manager will be calling any minute to represent me and my Conan set is coming right now the pipe. Also they found a cure of Cerebral Palsy and I can be cured and also write a completely new act because I am such a good comedian. I am not a fraud or one trick pony. Thank god. I’ve been working so hard and I am very glad this is all coming together.
I assume this is not how life works so here are a few goals I would like to hold myself accountable for, consider this my dream board.
1) Record and Album with the Pussy Bros.–I am enjoying working with Janae and Rachel so much and I truly believe with even more hard work we will be able to kick our shows and outreach up even further in 2017. While the focus is to continue traveling as a group, gain group and brand recognition, put on great shows, and continue to become better comedians; I believe that if our goal is to continue to spread Jordan’s album, message and light that we will continue to be amazing.
2) Continue to foster and mentor Female comedians in the Denver Comedy Scene. If anyone wants advice or friendship, or an ear to voice concerns; I am here. I know it is tough to be a Woman in comedy and I am learning to change by personal culture to one of support rather than competition. I don’t assume anyone wants my help. But it’s here if you are looking. Heather Snow was the first woman to create a showcase to support women and she was the person who taught me to lift each other up instead of create rifts of jealousy and I want to build these relationships for the health of my own heart and to honor the memory of Heather Snow.
3) It is my goal to go build my storytelling skills in 2017. My favorite comedians create stand-up that reads almost like testimony. Taking people from hard laughs to thought-provoking poignant moments and I believe this is the best way to remind myself the beauty of humanity and to feel connected to other people. Storytelling isn’t stand-up but it makes me create in way that makes me love and understand myself more.
4) I want to write at least 1000 words 5 days a week. It doesn’t have to be jokes. It doesn’t have to even make sense. But this is my craft. Creating stories in whatever form is my hearts true calling and there is no other way to get better unless the keys are moving. I CAN DO THIS ONE.
5) Two new minutes a week. Last year I made the goal of one new minute a week. And for the most part I stuck to this resolution. I didn’t always keep the minutes I wrote but I always tried them and worked them and I increased my stage time a ton this year. I can push this to two.
6) Stay off facebook unless you are making a joke or doing business. There is too much drama on facebook in Denver comedy and I have done my fair part in perpetuating it. Denver Comedy looks like high school and I will not be there to create more noise in the void. I am not here to police comedy. Even if there were comedy police I am woefully under qualified for the job.
7) I have a book idea. A book about strong, troubled, flawed and beautiful women and I want to write it. I don’t need to wait. I want four chapters done this year. If I get more than great. I will consider myself a rock star.
8) I want to go on the road at least five times. I already have two trips planned. Five is a totally doable number. I think I will be able to hit ten. Going on the road more frequently is a major goal so I need to create measurable goal to strive for.
9) I want another tv spot. I got two in 2015, one in 2016 and so I want another one 2017. Be available. Be sharp. Be sober. Be undeniable.
10) Write a webseries about two comics with CP. I am tired of talking about this. Let’s get it done, Josh, Aaron and Janae.
11) Gym three times a week
12) Drink less
13) Eat Better
14) Kiss more (WTF are we here for anyway??)
15) Learn more Karaoke Songs (Can’t do Man in the Mirror forever)
16) Drink more water
17) Floss my teeth. The dentist is going to kill me.
18) Cuddle More Pets
19) Cook More Food
20) Ride my tricycle a total of 500 miles this year
If 2016 taught me anything its that I can’t live in the past. I would love to go see Sam, Nathan, Bobby and Chris at the Deer Pile. I would love to go see the Grawlix at the Bug on last Friday’s. I would love to hit Kinga’s and Matchbox on Sunday nights. But these don’t exist anymore. Denver Comedy isn’t dead. It’s changing and it doesn’t need me but I need it more than ever. Denver Comedy doesn’t need to look elsewhere for excellent comedy. It doesn’t need to miss what it used to be. The strength of our little comedy island comes from within. I don’t need to continue to look at the comics I want to be, I can be the comic I want to be. I’m not here to hang out. I am here to be the best version of myself I can be and whether its for me, Jordan or Snow, there isn’t anytime to waste and I am very excited.
PS: Oh and for gods sake, Get a website.